HOMEBODY
NIKOLAI RYAN

*This piece is best read on PC due to formatting settings.

In the dreams where I am a woman again, I am only ever a girl.

I slip

into sleep’s silken envelope and forget

myself. I am her again.

She

braids her hair. She is always desired. She

is never wanted. She is the Cherry

Madonna.

For her, the world

lies

in wait. She asks to be kissed. She asks to be buried. I hear her. I do not

answer:

I have gone

to the place where the nights fall like daughters or snow, where winter and its lettered suns call me home.

Call me hymn.

Nikolai Ryan (they/them) is a writer and creative residing in Tucson, AZ. They hold a B.A. in English from Arizona State University and were a 2023–24 editorial assistant for Hayden’s Ferry Review during their time there. Their written work can be found on Substack at All Things Have Names and Red Door Magazine, as well as an upcoming piece in TELEPHONE 2025.